Hey, guys. So you know how school (for me, that is) started four days ago? After only one not-even-a-whole-week (we started Tuesday), I'm sick of it.
I'm stuck in a whirlwind of English, Bio, Precalc, AP World, Driver's Ed, German, and other stuff that I can't keep up with. The first two days were filled with homework... I expected some, but not that much. I've already got an essay due this Monday, and I had a checklist of about seven things I needed to get done today. It's crazy. Hopefully I'll be able to adapt quickly, as it's not even really summer anymore. The weather's starting to change... It's getting cooler with every morning, and the light of our sun went out today around seven something PM.
I will say, however, that I think I've hit a revolution for myself. So this school year, I'm trying to keep up with this thing called "do your homework on the night it's assigned." So far, so good. I've been doing that purty much this whole week with no real major hiccups. However... the weekend is a bit weird because I want to have free time but I also have find ways to get everything done. Welcome to the world of time management, right? Yeah. I was kind of okay this past year, but now it's really hitting me.
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In other news.... The rambling up top has just gone from "ugh my life sucks whyyyyyy" to "this shit isn't even important."
A few minutes ago, my mom came in to talk to me. She tells me that my grandfather, who was at the doctor yesterday for an appointment passed a blood clot in the office while giving a urine sample (yes, I know it's gross, sorry). But maybe I'd better back up a bit...
This isn't the first problem my grandfather has had problems with his heart-- he's had shock treatments because his heart was beating too quickly, so they did those and it slowed his heart down successfully. It had been holding out for a while. But lately, he's been breathing really hard and quickly even when he's not doing anything labor intensive (like sitting down watching TV or eating). So it was really a lucky situation when he went to the doctors and passed the clot. His breathing then got out of control, and they had to take him into intensive care, as he was on the verge of a stroke. The doctors did their hardest and everything they could to bring his heart rate down. Thankfully, (oh so thankfully) they succeeded. He scared us all, and they may have to do this scary type of surgery that's really risky... They also are considering putting in a pacemaker for him. They let him out of the hospital around 5:30 yesterday-- he was originally there for a morning appointment.
It's not often I see my mom cry. She said "He's a funny, quirky, grouchy 83 year old man... but he's still my daddy." And god, that just killed me. It reminded me for a second that life is so fragile... Right now I want to call him up, tell him that he's one of the smartest people I've ever met.... I want to tell him I love him and all of his "when I was your age" stories...
So for right now, I'm going to disregard school. All the complaints about homework in the world couldn't matter right now... My mom asked a couple hours ago (a general family consensus/consulting kind of thing) if we wanted to go to church tomorrow. I was on the fence with my answer, thinking that I don't really like our church and what they stand for. I just want to find a good church.... But my answer was going to be a "meh... I don't think so..." My point is that now, I want to go. I know you don't have to go to church just to pray, or go to church in order to be Christian... but part of me just wants to go and bask in a place where you can feel connected-- with both the people around you and God as well. I also like getting those "how are you doing" hugs from Reverend Annie.. which sounds totally weird, but I dunno. Something about the whole family atmosphere you can obtain at church... You can talk to people who will actually care about what you have to say... I want all of that and more in a church experience, and right now, I'm not getting the whole package.
But right now, what I do know is I can pray... Anytime, anywhere. And I'll pray for my grandfather.
xoxo