Just Some Pre-Graduation Reflection and a To-Do List

Creds to Google for this artsy graduation sunset pic!

So fun news, guys.

I graduate tomorrow.

I graduate from a structured schedule of school for 6 hours everyday, from parents nagging at me to get up, to eat something, to close the door on the fridge/microwave... from AP courses and high school musicals and choir and my beloved improv team....

And I don't know quite how to feel about that yet.

I do know that my graduation cap and gown feel huge and flowy, and I'm afraid I'll trip in my shoes while I'm walking the stage.. also I got hit with a blasted cold and my throat is all sore and I can't breathe sometimes and the congestion is abundant and I have a freaking senior solo with my choir ):

But aside from all the gazillion worries from tomorrow, I feel... oddly at peace.

Just two days ago I had my last choral banquet ever, and afterwards, a close choral friend and I went to Starbucks to loiter.  It was just getting to be dark, the sunset was gorgeous, and she didn't want to go home. She ordered a water (because Starbucks water tastes better than normal people water, obviously) and I got the strongest flavored herbal tea that I could to soothe my throat and attempt to bring my sense of taste back (update: it didn't work.. but it soothed my throat!)  But after a while we just started talking.  About this year, about the past four years... and we identified the fact that you really do end up finding out who your friends are, who you are, and what you want to see in others but you don't always find.  Mid conversation discussing who had changed, who had been there since the beginning, our amazing OTHER choral friend just popped up out of nowhere and sat with us.  She was apparently coming to loiter as well, get some Starbucks water and read her poetry and psych book (both which looked so intriguing and I wanna read them-- one of them is called Subliminal by Leonard Mlodinow )... but instead she joined in on our conversation.

And friends, let me just say she's like, an awesome person.  One of those people with a soul so old that you KNOW they're one of those real hipsters before hipsters were cool.  She's one of those people who has given up the thoughts of what others think of her and has replaced them with her own, and made them radiate throughout her being as a basic "here I am: don't like it, alright, that's cool, deuces".

But as we talked together, it got deeper than any conversation I've had recently with anyone and made me think and rethink about a TON of things:
Why don't we talk like this more often? 
Why are people so scared of being vulnerable? 
When are we ever going to realize that everyone suffers from loneliness? 
What, for the love of goodness sake, is holding me back?

And after the conversation we had, I could honestly rant about all of those questions up there for more time than you'd probably be willing to listen to me for.

And so all of us, at one point or another during the conversation, made a bucket list.  Rather, to make it more relevant, a to-do list.  And it's not quite those bucket lists that say "I wanna go skydiving! And meet Justin Bieber!" but ours are targeted more to conquering ourselves and our personal connections.  Imagine it as a new year's resolution and a bucket list morphed together.  Regardless of how you view it, I just wanna share mine here and do my best to make a conscious effort to look back at it and add to it, and check things off and just ultimately use them to find and promote happiness amongst us humans.  Because that's what we're all after, right?

The To-Do List

• Be more honest.
• Open your mind further than you think it will ever go-- Try everything and refrain from harsh judgement.
• Create more art with my hands

And that's all I have for right now, it's a work in progress and I'm gonna build it (: What is it they say? Baby steps? Anyways, I know that before I graduate, and ultimately before I leave for college.. I want to make amends and do what I can to fix things (whether it's with friends or family or parents) where I am... And check off a few of my to-do list things at home before I check them off in the big world.  

What's on your to-do list?

xoxo,