On Freedom

Oh my god. I love this prompt. 

At this point in my life, I am fed up with so many things and just wanna get out in my own and LIVE already.  I even have a list in the Notes app on my phone that I've been non-stop updating chock full of all the "freedoms" I will have access to later this August (squee-- only a couple months away....!) once I move into my college dorm. 

Needless to say, I'm excited. 

However... Today on the beach I had a little talk with my mother. We were talking about cars and auto insurance and tuition.... And it just hit me a little hard... That I'll basically be living on my own in August (albeit with a roommate)... But with my own responsibilities and consequences for my actions. 

And I don't know if I've said anything about this but I've applied for my first credit card.  Doesn't sound that extraordinary but it's the first wave of many of adulthood stepping-stones, and while I'm immensely excited... I'm also kind of scared out of my mind. (I'd use the phrase "adulting", but I read an article on Buzzfeed about that term and how it idolizes simple tasks such as taxes or ironing or making a meal by yourself and doesn't place pride on real adult accomplishments or something blah blah blah). 

As it is, I'm basically putting myself through college, and sometimes I just wonder when and how I'm gonna get the money to do the things that I want but also support myself in school... I plan on getting a job, but still....

So I guess while I'm momentarily motivated to move forward and embrace all these freedoms coming down the road, I'm also mentally frozen when it comes down to realizing the realities and responsibilities that come with it. (High five for that unintentional alliteration at the beginning of this sentence😎👍🏼). 

Anyone with advice on this kind of stuff please feel free to comment. I'd greatly appreciate it. 

xoxo,

Steph