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Saturday, February 22, 2014

Too Much.

Life does not slow down, does it?   And it's hard to hold on to moments that are fleeting every time you turn around.

So much has happened since I last wrote...(er... typed....)

First of all, my school workload I feel has gotten out of control.  I've been slipping up lately... Procrastinating more than usual, BSing more work than normal, scrambling to get things done...  It leaves me with almost no time.   I just wish Time could just.... take a chill pill, you know?

Sigh.

In the dog department, Tasha's looking a bit better, though she's still on the skinny side.  She's stopped wolfing down the special wet food we give her in a I-haven't-eaten-in-weeks manner, so I think she may be satisfied hunger-wise.  So that's a plus.

Another plus is that it's getting warmer.  Temperatures today are expected to be like, 50-60 degrees and I want to see if I can get out there go running for a bit.  Hopefully a lot of the snow has melted, and I don't have to trudge through five feet tall snow drifts on my favourite walking paths.
 Huh.  And I thought spring would never come...

Whell.  I'm trying to focus on happy things.  Also because of something that happened a few days ago that saddened/affected me/my entire family quite a lot...

This past Wednesday was like a normal day. I hung out with J after school.  My dad picked me up from his place later in the evening.  Upon entering the car, I was hit with some really bad news.  My grandfather (my mother's dad) had experienced two strokes over the course of a couple hours.  He was in the hospital, and they were finding out that the cause of the bleeding on the brain was due to some blood thinning medicine he was taking for his previous heart problems.  (He has a pacemaker now, I'm not sure if I mentioned that...)  So after just kinda recovering from having the pacemaker put in,  he gets hit with strokes.  Not fair, right?  
It could have been worse, though.
This is the story according to my mom:

   When he had the first one, he was sitting in his family room talking to my Uncle Stephen on the phone.  My other uncle happened to be visiting him, and luckily, was in the room with him at the time.  Uncle Dave, not really intending to eavesdrop, noticed that Pop-pop was talking nonsense when/if he was talking at all.  He also noticed that he looked very confused. Uncle Dave talked to him, asking if he was okay and all the things you're supposed to check for when a person looks like they need help.  Uncle Dave ended up calling 911 as well as his neighbor, who happens to be a doctor. (It's so convenient-- he's the best. He's good friends with our family, and he's been so nice and so awesome and never ceases to reach out and help others.  I could go on and on with gratitude...) He called us, too and told us what had happened.  Soon the ambulance people arrived and he was taken to the hospital.  At check-in, he had another small stroke.  They helicoptered him over to a DC hospital where he could receive better care.  He was doing okay, and right after I was picked up my dad was going to drive my mom to the hospital to see him.  I stayed behind with the littluns to make dinner and get them to do homework and get them (sorta)  to bed and stuff.

The day was exhausting... I fell asleep on the job and I didn't awake until my parents came home around midnight-ish.  It was not a fun time... I had to catch up on homework and do it the next morning as well, as crashing on the couch the previous night prevented me from getting stuff done.  The last thing I wanted to do was homework.  I just wanted to cry.  And pray.  And cry some more.  And sleep.  I got almost no sleep that night... The order of the night and following day went something like this:

1. Got home
2. Made dinner for the hungry sibs.
3. Prayed before during and after doing so.
4. Forced uncooperative little brother to do his homework like Mom told him to
5. Watched Boo (human tornado of six years)
6. Attempted to do homework at the same time
7. Crashed on the couch while attempting to do said homework
8. Woke up later, to find parents back
9. Realized "oh shit, didn't finish stuff that's due tomorrow"
10. *initial tiredness kinda worn off*  Attempted to stay up until 2AM-ish to get stuff done
11.  Had nightmares.
12. Woke up super early to finish homework.
13. Slugged through the school day.

But right now I find solace in the fact that he's doing better.  They had said earlier on that they were going to try and fix the bleeding on the brain with medicine.  If that didn't work, they'd have to do a risky operation. Risky operations are just that.  None of us wanted that to happen....  As of right now, he seems to be doing better... My parents plan on going to see him tomorrow, Sunday.

It's been a busy week. A head-resting-in-palms-take-a-deep-breath kind of week. Between school and rehearsals and doses of devastation, it's almost like I can't take it anymore.  And I know other people out there have it so much worse than me, and it makes me grateful and appreciative for the things I do have, but it doesn't mean that it's not still hard.  I'm trying to stay positive though.  And I'm trying to somehow bring down the stress level.  I'm pre-doing a bunch of homework this weekend (I've already checked off like, 3 things off of my To-Do list-- so proud-- and it'll save me in the long run) and last night, I went to see the LEGO Movie with J and his mom. (That was great, by the way-- Hilarious.  I'd definitely recommend it.  Also because Will Farrell and Morgan Freeman.. Can it get any better than that? XD ) The experts are right-- laughter is definitely one of the best stress relievers out there.  I wore my "feel-better dress", (a dress I snagged at an awesome price when I had a 5-hour shopping adventure with my best friend over the "hold-down-the-fort-while-fam-is-away" weekend) and just enjoyed a couple hours or so in the theater.  

Ze Gorgeous and Wonderful Andrea and Me <3 Not the most flattering angle, but whatever XD I love the dress (:

I woke up really early this morning, simply because I had come home and crashed last night after the movie (kinda early in the evening... for me, anyways)  I got a lot of homework done after I woke up, and I want to run and also see J today. (That always raises spirits (: ) 

This coming week, I'm just gonna try to inhale and exhale more slowly... and try to not get overly stressed and all that.  Some things are inevitable, some things just happen, some things don't work out.  Life's full of plot-twists. But I guess it's how we handle them that make the situation worse or better.  It'll take work and patience, but I'd like to make things better.  

xoxo

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